Confession #2

I have an addiction.  It’s a common one, but not one most people talk about.  I want to talk about it today.

I am addicted to COMPARING.

I mostly compare body or personality, but sometimes it spreads into my family or my possessions.

My husband will joke with me that when we go out somewhere I stare at the women more than the men.  And that is because I am comparing myself to other women constantly.


Sometimes by the end of the day I am exhausted and just worn out from knowing that a friend I was with was better dressed.  Or that someone I was talking to had straighter, whiter teeth.  Or that a mother at the grocery store had better behaved children.  The list is never-ending.

My husband knows it makes me sad and works and works with me to just acknowledge good things about myself and stop comparing because it won’t get me anywhere.


It doesn’t matter how skinny I get, someone will always be skinnier.  It doesn’t matter how crafty I am, someone will always be craftier.  It doesn’t matter how successful I am in whatever endeavor, there will always be someone better.

And I really have a hard time coming to terms with that.  How many times can I say the above things to myself and truly believe them enough to accept myself.


But then I’m always noticing the little and big things about myself that don’t add up to what I think other people have.

I have a gratitude journal and I count my blessings daily so the problem isn’t with not having enough in my life.  I keep returning to the thought that I have enough but I am not being enough.


Anyone have any advice for me?  I’m not asking for compliments.  I really want to know how other people live without comparing because I’m ready to accept my addiction and try to take the necessary steps (is it 12 for everything?) to overcome.



6 thoughts on “Confession #2

  1. remember that chances are, they are comparing too and feeling just as insecure about themselves. I think we all do it but the grass isn’t always greener. I know I do it more when I’m PMSing so I try to do things that make me extra happy then.

    • Thanks Kate. I’ll just have to use happy distractions 🙂 Hope you’re having a good time in Utah. You deserve a break!

  2. I think this is the curse of women, especially Mormon woman. What’s ironic too, is while we’re comparing ourselves to others, they’re doing the same with us! Every time I go to your house, I wish mine was more like yours! 🙂 Also, this is how Satan gets us. He knows that we’re not going to go out and drink, steal, smoke, be unfaithful to our husbands, etc. All things that would drive the spirit out of our lives. So instead, he tries to get us with these thoughts that we don’t measure up, that we’re not good enough, etc. When we get down on ourselves, it drives the Spirit away, too. I’m guilty of all the things you’ve talked about today. I wish I had a permanent solution, I really do. I think it would help to say a little prayer when you have those thoughts or make a resolution when you have those thoughts to replace it with a positive one about yourself. I know you’re not fishing for compliments, but let’s face it, you’re a wonderful, beautiful, kind, creative, smart, compassionate daughter of God and He loves you for who you are and what you’ve become! (and what you are still in the process of becoming) 🙂

    • Thank you so much for your comment, Rachel. It is almost funny to think that while I’m comparing myself to you, you’re comparing yourself to me. I’m really going to try to distract myself and say a prayer when I feel that way too. Really, thank you for your kind words.

    • Thank you so much Aunt Bubba! That was a beautiful article and just what I needed. Tonight after I wrestle the kids into bed I’ll be sure to search for more. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Love.

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