I have an addiction. It’s a common one, but not one most people talk about. I want to talk about it today.
I am addicted to COMPARING.
I mostly compare body or personality, but sometimes it spreads into my family or my possessions.
My husband will joke with me that when we go out somewhere I stare at the women more than the men. And that is because I am comparing myself to other women constantly.
Sometimes by the end of the day I am exhausted and just worn out from knowing that a friend I was with was better dressed. Or that someone I was talking to had straighter, whiter teeth. Or that a mother at the grocery store had better behaved children. The list is never-ending.
My husband knows it makes me sad and works and works with me to just acknowledge good things about myself and stop comparing because it won’t get me anywhere.
It doesn’t matter how skinny I get, someone will always be skinnier. It doesn’t matter how crafty I am, someone will always be craftier. It doesn’t matter how successful I am in whatever endeavor, there will always be someone better.
And I really have a hard time coming to terms with that. How many times can I say the above things to myself and truly believe them enough to accept myself.
But then I’m always noticing the little and big things about myself that don’t add up to what I think other people have.
I have a gratitude journal and I count my blessings daily so the problem isn’t with not having enough in my life. I keep returning to the thought that I have enough but I am not being enough.
Anyone have any advice for me? I’m not asking for compliments. I really want to know how other people live without comparing because I’m ready to accept my addiction and try to take the necessary steps (is it 12 for everything?) to overcome.