Fish Funeral

It all started a couple of weeks ago when Derek Fisher got traded from the Lakers.  It was a sad day in our house.  Everyone was affected.  Even our fish.

We got two fish for Christmas.  Mikey promptly named them Donnie and Derek after his friends from preschool, and then Michael gave them second names.  He let Derek stay Derek, but added the Fisher.  The second fish was named Kobe Bryant.  We’re all about the Lakers here.

Like I said before, everything had been going fine until a couple of weeks ago.  I started noticing that Derek Fisher, the fish, was acting wierd.  He’d start floating to his side periodically throughout the day, then I would check on him later and he would be eating and swimming around like everything was fine.

Then two days ago, I had just put the kids to bed and I came in the kitchen to see Fisher floating at the top of our little tank.  On closer inspection I saw his gills were moving.  But barely.

I don’t know why, but I was moved into a sudden panic to save the fish.  I immediately set to cleaning the fish tank, re-feeding them and saying a short prayer for the life of this beloved pet.  His condition improved but I went to bed knowing I would wake up to a dead fish.

Yesterday morning I woke up, the fish seemed like he had gained a new life.  He was swimming around like the day we bought him.  My fears were calmed.

It was a false hope, though.  This morning when I woke up, it had happened.  Derek Fisher, had gone the way of all fish (especially ones in this house) and had passed away.  This was our conversation:

Mikey, we woke up this morning and Derek, the fish, had died.  He was feeling sick the past couple of days and we tried all we could, but he was old, had lived a very good and happy life, and has gone home to Heavenly Father.


How do you feel about this, Mikey?

I’m sad.  I’ve never had a fish die before.

(I wanted to say, yes, you’ve had two fish die before, but he’d obviously forgot about that so I wasn’t going to twist the knife)

He is sad to leave you to, but he is happy in heaven now.


Riley, how do you feel.

I’m Batman! (laughs, runs, jumps, and rolls)

I turn to my husband. I think he’s in denial.  He agrees.

Mikey, do you know what we do with fish when they die?

All drains lead to the ocean.  He needs to go to the ocean.

(Thank You Nemo)

So we proceeded to bury the fish at sea.  It was a short ceremony.  We barely got our goodbyes in before Riley jumped the gun and flushed poor Fisher down.

I know life will go on, but we’ll miss you Fisher.  Both of you.


2 thoughts on “Fish Funeral

  1. So
    so funny! Your all time best writing! I think with your track record with fish all pet stores should have your mug shot to prevent other tragedies from happenning.

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