Home-schooling Dilemna

I am in need of advice, particularly from any home-schooling Mom’s out there.

When I started thinking about signing Lizzie up for Kindergarten, I just couldn’t make myself do it.  There are a variety of reasons for this, but I think it all boils down to the fact that we don’t live in that great of an area and I’m just scared of what she is going to be exposed to in the public schools.  I don’t think that she is quite ready.  I want to keep her naive for a little bit longer.

As such, I have been seriously considering home-schooling for months now.  A large part of me feels like I don’t actually have a choice in the matter.  I I feel that the way the world is today, particularly in Southern California, is practically forcing me to keep my kids safe at home for as long as possible.  Before having Mason, I was 100% sure that I was going to be a home-schooling Mom.  After having Mason, however, I have been debating it.  In my heart, I want to home-school.  Logically, however, it doesn’t make any sense at all.

Part of me would love to send Lizzie to school and get a little break.  In fact, I am a tiny bit jealous of other Mom’s who send their kids to pre-school (which I chose not to do) because it allows them to spend more one-on-one time with the younger siblings.  They sometimes even get to take naps. 🙂  Sending Lizzie to Kindergarten seems completely logical.  It would make things easier on me for sure.

But I still feel is if she needs to be home-schooled.

If my kids were spaced out a bit more (they are all 2 years apart) I know that home-schooling would be more doable.  But how am I supposed to take on the responsibility of teaching one child while concurrently potty training another one and keeping the other one from constantly crying?  Not to mention trying to keep the house clean, go shopping, and fold the seemingly never-ending piles of laundry.  And what about when another baby comes…what then?  It just seems so overwhelming to me.

Yet I still feel as if I have no choice in the matter.

What’s worse is that I think that Lizzie might actually enjoy school.  I feel guilty even thinking about depriving her of it.

Am I being selfish?  Am I being unreasonable?  Am I being too overprotective?

Right now, my heart is set on a charter school in which she will be primarily taught by me at home, however she will meet with a teacher once every twenty days.  In addition, she will have the opportunity of going to school for about 3 hours, 2-3 days a week.  The school also plans a variety of field trips.  This option seems like the best of both worlds to me.

I don’t want to be the kind of Mom that controls everything in her children’s life.  I ultimately want my children to learn and to grow and to stretch out their wings and fly.

I just have this overwhelming feeling that a 5-year-old is just a little bit too young to be sent out into the real world.  I still have so many things to teach her.  I want her to really have a firm grasp on right and wrong before I throw her to the wolves.  I want her to be a little more confident.  I want her to be able to stand up for herself a little bit more.

I know, a lot of you are probably thinking to yourself that the only way that she will ever learn these things is if I let her go to school.

But is it possible to learn these things at home?

This has been such a difficult decision for me to make.  In fact, I have thought about this decision more than any other “big” decision in my life (what to major in, what house to buy, where to go after college, even who to marry!).

Is this a sign that home-schooling is wrong?  Or is it simply one of those things that I know I need to do, yet if feels so illogical?  Perhaps I simply need to put my trust in the Lord that this is what I need to do for my family.  I need to stop debating it, take a leap of faith, and put my whole heart into it.

Do any of you home-schooling Mom’s out there have any advice?


2 thoughts on “Home-schooling Dilemna

  1. Wow Andrea! I didn’t know you were planning to homeschool! Awesome! I understand ALL OF THIS! Please call me if you want an actual chit chat! I’m a much better at “cheerleading” than actually homeschooling, but somehow, after 18 years of schooling them at home, my kids are doing well I have some good books that inspired me and more importantly, friends who have supported me. You’re welcome to whatever I have on my shelves, in my head or in my heart. Love you!

  2. If you want to talk to someone, my mom homeschooled her kids. My experience as a homeschooled child was overwhelmingly positive. I love my family, largely because we spent so much time together. But, as members of the church, I had plenty of friends my age to plan play dates with. I also spent about a year in a charter school, and absolutely adored the experience. The teachers were top-notch, and the option for classroom activities was a welcome social aspect. In addition, charter schools will generally have better funding than public schools, giving your children access to the best resources (textbooks, misc. materials, field trips).

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