You Know You’re Tired When…

You know you’re tired when you wet the bed as a mature 30-year-old woman.

No, I’m not lying.

My timeline for last week went as follows:

On Tuesday night, Lizzie wet her bed and both of the boys had leaked majorly through their diapers.  I was slightly annoyed that Lizzie had wet the bed.  I was forced to wash all three of their sheets and mattress covers.  I know that I don’t wash their sheets as much as I need to.  I seriously have to bribe myself to do it on a regular basis.  On Tuesday night, however,  they were completely drenched in urine which left me no choice in the matter.  But don’t worry, I survived.

I turned 30 on Wednesday.

I’m still in complete denial.

I don’t feel old, yet my age is causing me to realize that I’m not a spring chicken! 🙂  I’m going to be wearing hearing aids and using diapers before I know it.  In fact, I should probably start wearing diapers (at least at night) sooner rather than later.

On Thursday night, only my second night of being officially old, I woke up in the middle of the night to the surprising feeling of wet underwear, pajamas, and sheets.  I was quite confused.  I was 99% positive that I wasn’t pregnant and I really had no clue why my water had broken.  It took me a few moments to come to terms with the fact that there was no fluid-filled amniotic sac in my uterus and that I had clearly wet the bed.  Exactly like my almost 5-year-old daughter had just done two nights previously.

I was in shock.  I don’t know how that could have happened!  I wasn’t even dreaming about having to go to the bathroom, which is usually the case when I have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.  What makes this story even more embarrassing is that the fluid on my underwear, pajamas, and sheets was cold.  I was so exhausted that I didn’t even wake up immediately after I had urinated!

That’s it.  I’m clearly too old to be a Mother of young children!  These sleepless nights are getting to me.

I have forgotten what it feels like to sleep continuously for longer than a few hours.  I seriously dread going to bed at night.  I am very much alone in the middle of the night because my husband has been blessed with the talent to be able to sleep peacefully through anything.  I have literally been sitting up right next to him in bed holding a screaming baby and he keeps right on snoring.  I’ll be honest, I’m more than a tad bit jealous of his ability!

Although Mason currently spends his nights in his crib (in a separate room) rather than right next to me in our bed, he continues to sleep very inconsistently and he wakes up often.  At least two or three times a night, sometimes more.  Between feeding Mason and attending to Lizzie’s needs (yes, she is almost five but she continues to keep me up at night) I often feel as if my head rarely hits the pillow!  On top of not being able to sleep well, Bryce has been waking up at 5:30 in the morning.  He wakes up and starts banging on his door repeating,  “Mommy, I’m stuck!  Mommy, I’m stuck!”.  I have no choice to but to go and get him before he wakes up his siblings which are sleeping in the adjacent bedrooms.

Anyway, I’m done complaining.  🙂

The irony of all of this is that I know I’m going to miss waking up all through the night when my kids are older.  When Lizzie and Bryce were babies and finally started to sleep through the night, I actually missed those quiet, special bonding moments in the darkness of the night in which I could hold them close, gaze at their beautiful chubby faces, and appreciate the opportunity and blessing that I have to be a mother.  My heart truly aches for those woman who don’t have such an opportunity, particularly through no choice of their own.

That being said, I am grateful for the opportunity that I had last week to wet my bed.  The experience has  helped me to contemplate and truly appreciate the reasons for my lack of sleep – my children.

Yes, I love my children and will willingly wet my bed for them.

Now if I can only develop a passion for changing bed sheets…

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