Kindergarten

In case you were wondering (and even if you weren’t), I made the decision to ditch the home-schooling idea.  At least for now.  Who knows if it will be necessary in the future.  But for now, it’s just not going to happen.  I struggled with the whole home-schooling decision for months.  I love the idea of it.  There are many benefits of home-schooling.  Benefits that I wouldn’t mind having in my life.  However, the fact of the matter is that if I were to home-school Lizzie there would be absolutely no learning going on.  As I was praying about this decision, I kept seeing visions of Bryce and Mason being thrown on the back burner (so to speak) and being neglected.  I received a very clear impression that if I were to home-school, I would be frustrated, I would cry every single day, and that I would always feel like a failure (despite my valiant efforts to succeed).

Once I made the decision to put Lizzie in public school, it was like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.  Literally.  I hadn’t realized how much pressure that I had put on myself to be everything for her.  Once I decided (without feeling guilty) that I simply couldn’t do it all, I feel 100 pounds lighter.  I am still going to be involved in her education as much as possible, but it is a huge relief to know that I don’t have to do it all.  I can allow another person to teach her.  I can place her in the care of another capable adult for 6 hours a a day, 5 days a week.

And she will be just fine.

The elementary school that Lizzie is supposed to go to isn’t the best.  I would send her there if I had to, but I wanted to try to get her into another school.  To make a long story incredibly short, she was accepted into a really good school on the opposite side of town!  The same school that her cousin, Mikey, will be going to!  We even requested the same kindergarten teacher so they may even be in the same class!  Wouldn’t that be awesome?!  🙂

Despite the somewhat long commute that I will be making twice a day (having her ride a school bus isn’t an option), for the first time in a long while, I feel at complete peace with this decision.

Complete peace.

I just know that this is the right decision for our family.

And yet…

I am sure going to miss my precious little Lou-Lou!

She is my first-born.

The child who has had to patiently suffer the most because of my experimentation and  inadequacies as a mother.

She has been my partner in crime.  She’s always up for any adventure!

She has filled our days with joy as a result of her fun, spunky, and crazy personality!

We have spent 5 whole years together, side by side.

We have rarely been apart from each other.

She is basically an appendage of myself that I will have to somehow rip off of me in just a few short days.

How in the world am I going to survive without her?

I won’t be there to pick her up each time that she falls.

  She may even have to wipe away her own tears.

But she will be okay.

Babies are born one day and then they grow into Kindergartners before the blink of an eye.  It’s a fact of life.

Thankfully, I can honestly say that I have no regrets.  At all.  I truly feel that I have spent good quality time with her during the past 5 years of her life.  I have done all that I could do to be the best mother for her.  Yes, you read that correctly.  I don’t have any regrets whatsoever.  That sounds weird coming from me (even to myself…I am usually the beat-myself-up type), but I truly feel at peace.

And you know what?

She is only going to Kindergarten.

I still have 13 more years with her until she turns 18 and moves off to college.  Thirteen wonderful years that I am looking forward to and that I plan on cherishing every single moment of.

Every single moment.

Bring it on, Kindergarten!

I’m ready.

🙂

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2 thoughts on “Kindergarten

  1. That was such an awesome post.I’m having trouble letting go of my son as well, and he’ll be going to my school with me.(I hope) She’s going to love it! Good Luck to the both of you on your new adventure together!

  2. I’m glad you were able to make the decision and feel good about it! She’ll have so much fun and it will be so good for her. 🙂 That’s great you got her in a better school, too bad about the commute though. Anna will start preschool in a month and I can’t believe it either! These babies grow up too fast!

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