First of all, I do not intend for this to be a post full of complaints. Seriously. I do not want to complain. I promised myself that I would never complain again. There are so many people in this world, even within my tiny sphere of influence, who have it incredibly hard. I would never want to be in their shoes!
As such, I am simply reminiscing on the first month of 2013. It was, indeed, full of sickness. And, as usual, I lucked out. That’s my lot in life, I suppose. It seems as if I’m always the healthy one taking care of the sick ones. Which I’m very grateful for. There’s nothing worse than having to take care of sick children when you are sick yourself. I consider myself extremely blessed! 🙂
The month started out with Jon spending New Year’s Eve (the actual evening) in urgent care. He developed an odd infection on his leg. It kept increasing in size and becoming more red (even purple) by the minute. So I sent him to urgent care and he ended up getting hooked up to an IV full of medicine meant to treat MRSA (Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus). He returned home with antibiotics, a nasal spray (of all things), and a huge bottle of anti-bacterial body wash that he was instructed to soak in on a daily basis. Very random.
A few days later, Lizzie went to the dentist and got all of the dreaded work done on her teeth. She was prescribed antibiotics as well in order to prevent infection.
A few days later, Mason came down with a horrible cold. This was the first time that he has been sick in his entire life. He was just plain miserable. He kept getting fevers and he was extremely congested, which meant that he had a very difficult time eating and sleeping. To make matters worse, I was cleaning his penis (you know, pulling the foreskin down in an effort to clean underneath it so that it doesn’t stick…like the doctor advised me to do) and I accidentally pulled too hard. His penis turned bright red and he was in a lot of pain. I felt so horrible! All that I could do was put Vaseline on it until it healed up. The congestion kept getting worse and so I took him into the doctor. He was diagnosed with sinusitis and was given antibiotics.
So far, 3 out of 5 family members on antibiotics.
A few days later, both Lizzie and Bryce got colds (runny noses, coughs, etc.). Bryce seemed miserable though. He kept developing fevers and he started wheezing pretty bad, which worried me because I haven’t heard him wheeze before. He seemed miserable enough that I took him to the doctor. Sure enough, he had an ear infection, which was probably what was causing the fevers. The doctor also sent him home with a nebulizer (which he absolutely loathes), which helped out a lot with his wheezing.
By this time, Lizzie was done with her antibiotics for her mouth. Just in time for Bryce to start taking his antibiotics for his ear infection.
Oh, I failed to mention that at the same appointment in which Bryce was diagnosed with an ear infection, the doctor asked me to bring Bryce in on another occasion to be screened for Autism. She seemed concerned. I’m not too worried about him. Yes, he does seem a little different…but his personality is a lot like Jon’s. Hey, if Bryce is Autistic, then so is Jon. And he has survived just fine. 🙂
Anyway, a few days later, Lizzie started complaining of a tummy ache. Me, being the most wonderful mom on the planet, thought for sure that she was faking it. I don’t know why, but I just had a hard time believing her. She seemed fine and then she suddenly started complaining of pain. After a few days of this, however, I decided to take her in. As it tuned out, she was diagnosed with a urinary tract infection. Oops. I guess I should have believed her! 🙂
More antibiotics were added to our Fridge. By this time, Mason was finished with his medicine. Now it was just Lizzie and Bryce. Bryce needed 6 milliliters twice a day. Lizzie needed 1 teaspoon three times a day. It got a bit confusing. On one of the days, I ended up accidentally giving Bryce Lizzie’s medicine. Oops!
Just when Bryce finished up his antibiotics for his ear infection, he came down with a horrible stomach flu. He started throwing up on a Tuesday night and it continued on Wednesday and Thursday. I was beside myself with worry. I “slept” next to his bed and was prepared to hold the bowl for him if he had to puke (I was so done cleaning up barf). I also shoved pediapops in his mouth every chance I got. By Thursday afternoon I was extremely worried about dehydration. He hadn’t eaten anything since noon on Tuesday. He was now refusing to drink anything. He wouldn’t even allow me to put ice-chips in his mouth. I took him to the doctor and he ended up getting hooked up to an IV and had 2 bags of fluid drip into him. He was also prescribed some zofran which helped a ton!
The doctors wanted me to take Bryce back the next day for a follow-up appointment. Bryce seemed to be doing fine the whole day prior to the appointment. He was nearly back to his normal self and I was so relieved! I took him to the doctor and was very confident that he didn’t need another bag of IV fluid. Well, I spoke too soon. On the way home from the doctors office, he vomited everywhere in the car. 😦
So I was extremely worried all over again. Fortunately, that was the last time that he vomited. On Saturday, however, he had horrible diarrhea. He kept running to the toilet, but he had plenty of accidents in his underwear. I don’t know where all of the water came from, but he just sat on the toilet and water just poured out of him! I was worried that I would have to take him back into the hospital. All day I tried to force him to drink fluids and any kind of foods that would bulk up his poop (you know, the BRAT diet…bananas, rice, applesauce, toast/crackers).
Fortunately, Bryce is back to normal now. Mason had diarrhea, but not nearly as bad as Bryce, and no vomiting. Thank goodness.
I have been so worried this month.
I remember a time, a few days after Lizzie was born, that I was so worried about her that I told Jon that I couldn’t have any more kids. I remember it so vividly. I was sitting in our rocking chair trying to nurse Lizzie and she wasn’t able to latch on. She was screaming and jamming her mouth onto my nipple (she wanted it badly) and getting so frustrated that she couldn’t get what she wanted (milk). I was sitting there bawling my eyes out and just feeling so helpless. I remember looking at the tiny baby in my arms and feeling so inadequate. I just couldn’t believe that this innocent baby was placed in my care. I was supposed to take care of my baby…and I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. No idea. I felt so lost. The feeling was so overwhelming that I told Jon that I couldn’t have any more kids. I couldn’t imagine myself possibly feeling responsible for another human being. It is simply too overwhelming.
I obviously forgot that I ever said those words to Jon. 🙂
But I still feel that way every once in a while.
I still feel so inadequate. Especially when my kids are sick. I don’t feel competent or knowledgeable enough to be entrusted with sick kids. I’m not a doctor, or even a nurse. When they’re sick, I feel as if I don’t know how to properly care for them and that something bad will happen as a result of my inadequacies.
Am I the only mother that feels this way?
Anyway…my kids are all healthy.
For now. 🙂
And I am counting my blessings and enjoying the moment.
Because with young kids, particularly in the winter months, days of full health are few and far between. 🙂