“If so-and-so jumped off of a cliff, would you?”

Well, it happened.

I had to have the first “If so-and-so jumped off of a cliff, would you?” talk with Lizzie.

I vividly remember my dad giving me the same talk when I was young.  I promised myself at the time that I would never, under any circumstances, give the same lecture to my child.  I was going to be a cool mom.

I’m a failure already!

For weeks now, Lizzie has been talking about her friend, Bailey.  She wants me to do her hair like Bailey (in down braids…not up braids).  I bought Lizzie some hand-sanitizer for her to put in her back pack and she was beyond ecstatic because I had unknowingly purchased the exact same hand-sanitizer that Bailey had.

Really, who is this Bailey?  And why is my daughter so obsessed with her?

A few weeks ago, it was actually cold and raining here in southern California for a change.  We went to pick up Lizzie from school in the pouring rain.  When I saw her exit the fence I was appalled that she didn’t have her coat on.  It was raining!  She was the only kid without a coat.

I asked her where her coat was and she told me that she left it at the playground.  What?!  Why in the world would she even take it off at recess when it was so cold outside?

Oh, of course.  I should have known.

Bailey took her coat off, so Lizzie did too.

I told Lizzie that her coat would probably be outside the entire weekend.

Her response?

“Well, it’s okay.  Bailey’s coat will get ruined too.”

Oh, okay.  So it makes it all better when Bailey’s coat gets ruined as well.

I spent a few sleepless nights worrying about Lizzie.

I haven’t taught her enough.  She doesn’t know about drugs and alcohol yet, not to mention the birds and the bees.  And what about homosexuality?  We live in liberal California, that topic is bound to come up in her classroom sooner or later.  She’ll be so confused.  What if Bailey is abusing Lizzie?  What if Bailey uses bad language and corrupts Lizzie’s innocent mind?  Maybe I should just take her out of school and hide her away from the rest of the world until she turns 18.  Until I’m positive that I have taught her absolutely everything that she needs to know.

Lizzie is in a combined Kindergarten and First Grade class.  I wasn’t sure if Bailey was in Kindergarten or First Grade.  When I asked Lizzie, she told me that Bailey was in 3rd grade.  What?!  What in the world is my innocent little Kindergartner doing associating with a 3rd-grader?

No wonder Lizzie took her coat off when Bailey did.  Bailey probably intimidated her and threatened to beat her up if she even thought about keeping her coat on.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I had the pleasure of meeting the infamous Bailey at Lizzie’s class Christmas program.

And I was so relieved.

I have no idea why Lizzie told me that Bailey was in the 3rd grade.  Bailey is actually in Kindergarten and she seemed as harmless as a fly.

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I can breath easy now, knowing that the girl that Lizzie seems to be obsessed with is not the gigantic 3rd-grade bully from my nightmares.

I still have time to teach Lizzie the things that she needs to know.

Some things shouldn’t be rushed, but I fear that in today’s society certain topics must be addressed earlier than I would like.

Even so, I really hope that Lizzie will learn the valuable lesson early on that she shouldn’t jump off of a cliff…even if Bailey does.

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