Mommies That Inspire: Kate Fredrickson

Okay, it’s Wednesday, so you know what that means?  Another Mommie to INSPIRE us!

She is mommy to three, awesome wife, photographer extraordinaire,  blogger at Welcomed Tempest, and loyal friend.

Meet:  Kate Fredrickson

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(Photo: Tuesday’s Child Photography)

Don’t Make Me Count to Three….  

 You’ve never uttered those words, right?  Me neither 😉  I think one of the hardest parts of parenting is the D word – discipline.  How?  When?  Am I too hard? Am I too soft?  Mercy or Justice this time? Timeout, spanking, yelling, talking it out, banishment, boarding school….

Sometimes I feel totally lost.

I’m the parent.  I’m supposed to know what to do, RIGHT?  Wrong.  It’s OK to be clueless.  It’s OK to be wrong.

After our third child was born, I noticed that my oldest was acting out.  My oldest!  I thought it be the middle kid that felt she was getting the boot and would therefore give me trouble.  True, the middle one DID act out in some ways.  But, it was the oldest that really gave us parents a run for our money.  I was clueless, lost and heartbroken.  He had many meltdowns and after many fights, and many attempts to discipline a new way and hope it would ‘stick,’ I had a revelation.  He was in full tantrum mode(he’s six, so think two year old times three on the tantrum scale) and I realized I just needed to hold him.  So, I did.  I held him until he stopped fighting me and his cries turned to soft whimpers.  It didn’t take long and we were able to talk through the problem.  He’s only had one other meltdown since then and I used the same tactic.  I don’t know if it’s because he’s almost seven now or if it’s me holding him, but I feel I have my boy back.

I learned an important lesson from this:  Physical touch is so necessary, even for older(ish) kids.  I think I had forgotten that somewhere along this journey.  I think I get wrapped up in trying to mold my children into future awesome adults that sometimes I forget, they are only children.  After all, he’s only been practicing this whole life gig for (almost) seven years.

Tonight he asked me to sing him a lullaby.  So, I did.  And, I rocked him all the while.

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