Advice for your 30th Birthday

Hey everyone, this is Andrea.  You know, Tara’s sister who used to blog with her, but now is a slacker and gave up blogging.  Sorry.  Who knows, I may be back some day. 🙂  Anyway, before our Mom died, Tara had talked with her about writing a guest post for her 30th birthday.  Tara wanted our Mom to write a letter of advice.  Since our Mom passed away and wasn’t able to do this for Tara, our Mom’s awesome sister, Sharon, volunteered to write such a letter instead.  Sharon is an amazing mother of four and she lives in Alberta, Canada.  She did an excellent job of writing this letter for Tara!!  It’s wonderful advice that we should all take to heart.  Happy Birthday, Tara!!

(Auntie Sharon is on the left, our Mom is on the right)

Some Things Your Mom Would Want You to Know

When we are “in the thick of it” sometimes we need to step back and gain some perspective to help us better understand that we aren’t failures, that we are making a difference and that we are worth so much more than we think.  I hope that this list helps bring you some perspective.  Happy Birthday Tara.  Love you.

  1. Don’t let what others think influence your decisions.  Always follow your heart and do what is best for you no matter what.
  2. You are allowed to have an off day.  Give yourself permission and don’t judge.
  3. Remember what is most important.  You CAN NOT be EVERYTHING.  So be great at the few things you choose and let go of what doesn’t really matter.
  4. Take life one day at a time.  Tomorrow is a new day and a fresh start.
  5. Remember it is just a phase.  Even though it feels like it will be like this forever, it won’t be.  In fact just when you start figuring out how to solve the problem it will miraculously stop and a new one will begin.  So don’t stress, it will pass.
  6. We are our #1 critic.  So first try and be gentle.  But also find a trusted someone who can give you a hug, say something wise and tell you you’re awesome.  We all need a cheer leader.
  7. You are not perfect – Get over it!  Now live an authentic life, one where you are not pretending to be perfect, life will pass you by as you are pretending.  Be honest, be true, and be real.  Always try to be better than you were the day before and learn new things.  But enjoy your imperfect life!
  8. What characteristics do you admire in others?  Build those in yourself.  Some of my favorites are:

–          Be kind

–          Be forgiving

–          Be grateful

–          Be understanding

–          Be compassionate

–          Be respectful

–          Be generous

–          Be creative

–          Be loving

If you spend your time being that person that is time well spent.

  1. You are better for everyone if you are first better to yourself.  As a mom we tend to leave us to the end and when we arrive at the end there is nothing left.  We feel guilty putting ourselves at the top of the list, the thing is eventually that backfires.  We become irritable, overwhelmed, exhausted and perhaps even resentful.  If we don’t think we are worth it, then no one else will either.

You are worth it!  Act like it!

Do something on a regular basis that rejuvenates you, that empowers you and that makes you happy.  This will make you a better you, which is a win for everyone around you.

  1. Don’t be in a hurry, it is not a race.  This I know, life moves by fast and before you know it your kids are all grown up.  Cherish EVERY moment.  Take time to discover with your kids, take time to teach your kids, take time to love your kids.  This is by far more important than anything else you could be doing.  So STOP – and smell the roses, don’t worry about the house being clean.  Regrets will be found in lost time and experiences with the ones you love not in having dishes on the counter occasionally.  LOVE LIFE.

This list was made with your mom in mind.  She lived it, she knew it and she told me all of it.  I am honored that I could pass it on to you, her beautiful daughter, on your 30th Birthday.

With Love,

Auntie Sharon


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